Solitude

Everyone has experienced loneliness, either chronically, or periodically throughout life. Loneliness describes a depressive response to being alone, and results in a profound impact on the quality of one’s life.

By definition, depression involves deep feelings of alienating loneliness. It is a dreaded state and can be the source of destructive behaviors used to distract one from its presence. All addictions and compulsive behaviors used to distract one from feelings have close relationships with the dread of being lonely. And yet loneliness seems to be as endemic to life as hunger or thirst or love. All spiritual traditions address this loneliness and all believe that there is in it a higher purpose to it. It is seen as a call with a deep echo that leads one to oneself, not in an isolating way, but in a way of transformation that leads one to become more whole. The path to this liberating loneliness is through solitude. Solitude is the conscious state of being alone and being receptive to what lies within.

Most ancestral and tribal religions include rituals and ceremonies in which one is sent off alone for periods of time with the intention of opening oneself to higher purposes and greater inner strength and vision. In solitude there is the paradox that one finds connection with the struggle, the joy, the hope, the fear of all humanity. True solitude is a gift. v For many older adults feelings of loneliness keep them separated from the world and relationships of which they long to be a part. By no means should older people be cut-off from the world, and the degree to which that happens is unjust. The fact is, however, that one is likely to be faced with more time alone as one ages. Believing in the value of this time can make a great difference in one’s state of mind. Struggling with the disappointments of being alone is a contribution to depression in old age. Challenging the life-long tactics used to avoid being alone, will assure an easier transition to quieter times when solitude may result in a deepening of one’s connection to the world in new and unexpected ways.