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It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

WOODY ALLEN
To live a life half dead, a living death.

JOHN MILTON

Death

Death, the mysterious, the infinite and the ever-present surrounds us whether we pay attention to it or not. All natural life knows death. The seasons change, loved ones die, and time keeps on ticking. Thinking about death, paying attention to its presence in our daily lives, is not something most people do until they are faced with its presence. As death becomes a reality, through the loss of friends and loved ones, or one’s own life threatening illness, the fear of death becomes more prevalent. The loss caused by death is accompanied by great sorrow and a feeling of profound emptiness at the break in a relational connection. Facing the reality of death and the emotions that come with it means facing the fact of impermanence and finality.

It is in living through these losses that one comes to confront one’s own mortality and finiteness, and in so doing one’s true self. So much of our human suffering comes from attachment to our emotions, ideas, possessions, and to other people. We have not settled within ourselves the most fundamental notion of impermanence. Being afraid of one’s death inhibits the ability to be pro-active in regards to one’s dying and therefore allows others to be in control.

The aging process inevitably brings the issues of death to the forefront of one’s life. There are many little deaths that occur throughout life, and especially in older age. Loss comes in many forms. Being removed from the family home, separating from family and friends, having pets die, retiring from a life-long profession, losing physical mobility, are all losses that carry a heavy weight on the human heart. It is in living through these losses that one comes to confront one’s own mortality and finiteness, and in so doing one’s true self.

Given that death is an ever-present part of life it seems there is much we might learn of ourselves and each other by considering death before it arrives. We may gain knowledge and wisdom from our anxieties and fears. So much of our human suffering comes from attachment to our emotions, ideas, possessions, and to other people. We have not settled within ourselves the most fundamental notion of impermanence. Once the impermanent nature of life is accepted, and we understand suffering to be part of impermanence, then letting go becomes much easier. We are free to experience life in death and death in life. We are free to grow as fully as we are able.
As one faces one’s own impermanence and is less afraid of thinking about and contemplating death, it assumes a real role in one’s life. Many do not think about how they wish to live the last hours of their lives because it is too frightening a reality to imagine. Yet, in not doing so, many find themselves in situations and under conditions void of the respect and the dignity worthy of their death. Being afraid of one’s death inhibits the ability to be pro-active in regards to one’s dying and therefore allows others to be in control. The kind of death we have is important. We should be allowed to die in peace and fulfillment. One of our basic human right’s should be the right to a dignified death. It is up to us to do what we can to assure this, and it is something that will take devoted time on many levels.

On a social level it is important to advocate for one’s own right, and those of other’s, to die in the manner they desire, while always furthering the delicate dialogue of death. On a psychological and spiritual level we must enter into the reality of impermanence and find the warm reception of freedom, and what some have called divine love; a love beyond attachment, limitations or constraints.